Imagine you’re back in high school: summer is ending, and you need to make up for all the time lost – mowing your parents’ lawn and/or babysitting your next door neighbor’s daughter is so lame you can’t even. It’s August already and you have something to prove before school starts again. So you pick up your shiny rose gold iPhone 6s and try to figure out if there’s anything going on so you don’t end up drinking Bud Lite in a dimly lit basement for the 1000th time.
Bingo: Elvis Depressedly and Teen Suicide are playing – the temporary cure for your summer ennui. That senior named Ben on the squash team who wants to hook up with your friend Anna offered to pick everyone up in his mom’s lime green Honda Civic that has one of those Jesus fish stickers on the back. You’re hype af and you can barely contain your excitement as you load your Herschel backpack with three watermelon flavored Four Lokos. You’re wearing a romper from Urban Outfitters, and you and all your friends just did three rounds of whip-its – tonight is going to be the best night of the summer.
If you haven’t started dry heaving yet, this is the kind of audience that Teen Suicide and Elvis Depressedly attracted at the Rock and Roll Hotel in DC on a Thursday night. Teen Suicide is the type of band to be featured in the closing credits for an episode of the O.C. The instrumentals are pleasant, definitely influenced by listening to too much Real Estate, but the vocals are fairly underwhelming with song titles like “benzo” and “lonely boy goes to a rave.” In simpler terms: Teen Suicide is essentially just a group of sad bois who managed to get an indie record deal.
By jane morris on Sept. 6, 2016, 9:59 p.m.